Vermin
by Twisted Shadows Official
Summary: Nadeshiko is one tough kitten with a problem, she always gets stuck in sticky situations. So what happens when the Akatsuki decide to incorporate *cough catnap cough* her into their group? Being a cat who is a master at intel can really get you in trouble, especially when you're to curious for your own good...
1. Wet Fur and Crazy Plans

"What a great morning." I hissed in a sarcastic gloom, racing to the closest building in this damn forest. Which just so happened to be the secret bounty hunter drop off station. It was valuable information for shinobi, but it's not like I care, I'm just a cat after all. Well I'm a bakeneko actually, that's a demon cat spirit thing by the way.

Information was attracted to me just like a bear is to honey, and just like the bear likes honey I like the information, a _little_ to much for my own good. My curiosity usually lead me into sticky situations. No pun intended, haha.

Anyways, it was definitely not a beautiful morning by any means. In fact it was raining like Hell, my beautiful white fur was just shy of a dirty soaking mop, and I'm fricking freezing my tails off! Yes, I have tails, two very beautiful pink tipped tails, deal with it.

My front claws made sparks as I skid to a complete stop on the concrete floor, finally having made it to the cement steps leading to the building's main door.

The reason I stopped so suddenly? Well that's because an idiot of a man just came crashing into the ground right in front of me. May I add that he landed in a puddle that splashed me right in the face with muddy water. Muddy Water!

My disgusted spluttering caught his attention and he stopped his loud cussing to give me a curious look.

I glared with such hatred and fury I thought he might just disintegrate into a pile of soggy ash. Unfortunately for me that is not what happened. I couldn't help the feeling that I've seen the cloak he was wearing before.

It was pitch black with dark red clouds speckled all over it. The man wore it in a way that showed his very nice muscular chest. Which would be very satisfying to look at in a different situation.

Ahem. Back to the familiar cloak! Where have I seen it before? Hmm...?

Oh! That's the symbol of the Akatsuki if I wasn't mistaken. By the looks of him he must be the immortal bastard, he was the only one with those beautiful magenta eyes and silver hair. What was his name again?

Better yet, I wonder what they all do together? Grinning a Cheshire grin I inwardly laughed as I came up with a great idea. Sneak into their base and see what they do!

"Why the fuck is there a fucking pink cat here, Kakuzu?" He yelled loudly making me cringe and forget my train of thought. My ears are to sensitive for this stuff!

Hmm. Kakuzu was it? He was the other zombie paired up with... I think his name started with an H. Hidden? Hydra? I've got it! It was Hidan! They are the zombie partners! I need to get away from them and formulate my plan, decisions, decisions...

"How dare you splash my beautiful fur you insignificant vermin!" I shrieked in fake rage before shaking my head at the dumbass in irritation. He probably didn't understand my superior vocabulary.

Shaking myself off I tried bolting through the open doors only to run straight into a freak wearing a mask. That must be Kakuzu. The force of my body reversed and I ended up bouncing back into the rain and right into a muddy puddle. You have got to be kidding me!

I yowled in anger and my fur became blue fire as I unleashed my power. Within seconds the puddle was gone and I stood there steaming in the rain with my ears laid back flat against my skull.

"I will demolish you." I hissed menacingly at Mr. Let's-block-the-fucking-way-inside-so-Nadeshiko-freezes-her-ass-off. Kakuzu gave me a curious look before he walked over to the vermin still sitting in the puddle, a suitcase swinging in his hand.

Again I bolted towards the door, this time finally making it inside and away from that accursed water. I streaked through the room and into the disgusting bathroom. My paws left muddy prints on the cracked tile floor marking my path.

Activating the door to the secret compartment I called out angrily to Bounty Bob, "you have some really rude vermin for customers!"

He jumped in surprise and stared wide eyed at me in shock. "Na-Nadeshiko Sama!" He stuttered as I gracefully jumped onto the metal dissection table he was standing next to. "You startled me... And yes, after all, most of my customers are criminals."

"That's no excuse! Do you know what those bastards out there did to me?" I questioned with narrowed eyes while looking straight at him without blinking. With my tails I motioned for him to come closer to me since he had backed up a few paces.

"W-what did t-they d-do?" He gulped as beads of sweat rolled down his pale skin and he leaned in instinctively to hear my next words.

Haha this was getting fun, maybe I shouldn't try and sneak into their base, there is plenty of fun things that are safe. Still I want revenge! Damn those stupid Akatsuki members for making me get soaked in muddy water.

With the creepiest look I could muster I shoved my face inches from his and whispered, "they stole my heart and now I'm going to steal yours!" With that I pounced straight into his chest, my claws allowing me to stick to his clothing.

He flailed backwards and rammed into the dissection table behind him with a loud bang. Doing a backflip I landed back on my own dissection table before a wave of laughter overtook me and I fell to the cold metal.

Yowling with laughter I rolled around the table sure to keep my body from falling of the edge and onto the dirty floor.

"Haha you wish lover boy!" I called once my giggles had calmed down. "They just got my fur wet! The nerve of some vermin!"

"That wasn't very nice Shiko-Chan! You scared me half to death!" His chest rose and fell quickly as he held a hand over his heart, as if that would actually calm it down.

"Yeah, well, you deserved it for having such rude customers like those two flea bitten freaks outside!" I was not truly angry at him, it was just fun pushing his buttons.

My ears picked up the sound of foot steps just inside the compartment and I swiveled my head towards the noise. My eyes were met by neon green and magenta ones, both sprouting furrowed brows.

"Who the fuck are you calling flea bitten, you mangy piece of pink shit!?"

I narrowed my eyes dangerously at the silver haired vermin who had just spoken, more like yelled, at me in such a blatant manner. What a degenerate!

"Quite frankly you should be able to figure it out, but since it seems your minuscule brain cannot put two and two together I shall simplify it for you, vermin." I had turned my whole body to face them and was now sitting on my haunches licking my paw and gracefully smoothing it out on my left ear. "I was simply talking about you Hidan, and your partner Kakuzu. You Akatsuki members have no manners whatsoever!"

I should have known saying that was a big mistake, yet I just had to open my cute little mouth didn't I?

Haha just kidding, this was all a part of my foolproof plan to infiltrate the Akatsuki to erase my boredom and exact my revenge. Of course I only came up with the plan about five seconds ago, but hey, spontaneous things are good sometimes!

After a few seconds of silence I was grabbed painfully around the middle by Kakuzu's black tentacle things. I hope this plan actually works because this fricken hurts! If he dirties my fur I'm going to be pissed! And why does he have to touch me with his tentacles!

Hidan was loudly cursing and asking Kakuzu if he could sacrifice me to someone named Jashin. When I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that it was some sort of deity that the silver haired man believed in.

"How do you know of us?" Came Kakuzu's calm, but intimidating voice as I was brought within a few inches of his masked face. I could feel the coils around my middle tighten even more when I didn't answer immediately.

Taking a deep breath I let out a pained hiss and flattened my ears against my skull. My claws were out and my tails twitched in agitation. "That is classified information masked vermin" I ground out between my sharp teeth.

"Is that so." For a few seconds he rummaged around in his cloak before pulling his hand out to reveal a small syringe full of clear blue liquid. "I don't have time to play with you so I'll just take you with us for further interrogation. Leader is waiting..."

With that he jabbed the needle directly into my neck as I struggled against his hold. How he managed to do it while I was moving around so animatedly confused me greatly. Oh well. They were S-ranked criminals after all.

The effects of whatever he injected me with only took a few seconds to do their job and I could feel myself slipping into darkness. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea, I just hope Bounty Bob is ok...


	2. Criminals

A/N: Listen up! I do not own Naruto! I only own my characters and the plot I have created! Also, I want you guys to keep in mind that these first few chapters were written awhile ago so they may not be up to par with my writing skills as of today. I'll edit them some time in the future. Have a nice day vermin.

/

With a soft mew I tried to roll over into a more comfortable position only to find I couldn't move an inch! My eyes flew open and I surveyed my surroundings as best I could without moving my head.

I was in what appeared to be a medium sized bedroom. The walls and floor were made of smooth grey rock and not a single window was in sight.

A wooden door was directly in front of the bed I was placed on, most likely pushed up against a wall I don't have the pleasure of seeing. The only light was being cast from somewhere to my left. From the corner of my eye I could see the corner of a wooden dresser.

My pink tipped ears perked up, as much as paralyzed ears could, when I heard the faint sound of footsteps drawing near. Two sets of footsteps to be exact.

Crap, I do not want to meet S-ranked criminals when I can't move! They were getting closer and fast, I had to do something now! Haha I have a great idea!

Closing my eyes I focused on my nerves and found that a complicated seal had been placed to keep me from moving. Keeping my chakra hidden I concentrated on releasing the pesky thing.

With one last push of my unique chakra it came undone and I was free again. To bad they didn't know seal breaking was part of my skills.

Their footsteps were now dangerously close. With a sniff of my nose I identified one as the masked guy Kakuzu, the other was a mystery with a hint of metal. Weird.

Doing some quick paw signs I transformed myself into a plain stripped gray cat with only one tail tipped an even darker gray. My eyes the color of molten copper. Of course I made sure they couldn't tell I used chakra, I had to have a little fun, right?

With that I positioned myself how I was before and recreated the seal. No sooner had I finished then the door was pushed open revealing Kakuzu and a orange-y haired guy.

Kakuzu was as stoic as yesterday and stood towering over the other man. He was wearing a black tank top sort of thing that showed his muscular arms and stitches.

It looked really weird considering he still wore his strange mask that only showed his eyes. Fashion must not be his forte...

Kakuzu's metallic smelling partner had orange-y hair that was spiked up haphazardly, piercings adorned his almost handsome face. Well that explains the nasty metal smell.

I've never heard of anyone in the Akatsuki with his description before, how was that possible? My intel was always perfect!

Upon seeing my transformed feline self Kakuzu stopped in his tracks, eyes widening slightly before going back to normal. He seemed very confused, but hid it well.

"This is the one?" Questioned the mysterious vermin in a deep voice as he stood before me, his black cloak brushing against the bed.

"Yes, she didn't look like this earlier." Kakuzu stood next to him, his neon eyes narrowed at me dangerously. I snickered internally at his pathetic attempt to scare me.

Scanning me over the mysterious guy narrowed his eyes as well, only he was suspicious not angry. "Where did you find her?"

"She was scurrying around the black market check point near Konoha." He continued to stare at me unblinking.

"And she knows about you and Hidan." He said with a a raised eyebrow, it was more of a statement than a question.

Doing a few hand signs the mystery guy unleashed the sealing jutsu and I began my clever act. Once I was unleashed I fled to the big, fluffy, white pillow laying on the mattress and plopped down.

Curling myself into a ball I yawned and placed my head on my side, staring lazily at the two Akatsuki members. Their eyes were filled with hidden confusion and annoyance, obviously that was not what they expected me to do.

They both walked to the side of the bed closest to me. The mysterious guy's face quickly became emotionless however when he heard the faint sound of purring. That's right, I had began to purr as loudly as I could, never breaking my stare.

"How did you come by your information on the Akatsuki?" Kakuzu asked, his tentacle stitch things coming out of his back. Eww... Put those things away buddy!

I blinked at him and snuggled more into my warm fur. With lidded eyes I opened my mouth and said, "meow."

He froze for about five seconds before his hand shot forward and grabbed me by the scruff of my neck. What the hell!

I hissed loudly, making all the menacing noises a normal cat makes when they are being attacked. I had to keep my act together.

The grip on my neck tightened even more and I slowly became limp. Hey, when a cat, even a demon cat, gets held by the scruff it slowly calms it down. It's not like I did it willingly!

"Don't play dumb with me cat, answer the question." His voice rose a teeny tiny bit. I did nothing but hang in the air limply, the hold he had on me was slowly putting me to sleep.

The guy with the piercing took me from Kakuzu's harsh grip and held me at arms length, staring me directly in the eyes. Well, there goes my nap and my prank, he looks like he's about to kill me! I'm bored with this anyways.

"Ok, ok! I give! Put me down already you dirty creature!" I meowed in exasperation. This was not how I wanted my little prank to work. Jeez they have no sense of humor.

He held me even tighter and made his way towards the door. "So it does speak."

"Unfortunately." Came Kakuzu's deep voice from behind us as I was brought through a hallway and into what looked like a living room.

"Well _excuse_ me tentacle freak! At least I have fashion sense!" I huffed and narrowed my eyes, staring daggers at Kakuzu over whoever the heck was carrying me. You'd think they would introduce themselves or something! No manners whatsoever!

"Kakuzu." The mysterious guy said emotionlessly. "Do something with it. I have work to do. I'll question it later."

"Did you just call me an it!" I was pissed! "How dare you call me an it you ugly metallic scrap of raw sewage!"

With that I was handed off to a grumpy neon eyed vermin and he walked away completely ignoring me. In a puff of white smoke I turned back into my normal pink and white self.

Kakuzu dangled me in front of him using his tentacle stitch things. Now that I had a better view of the room I thought I might as well check it out.

There was a large crimson couch with black clouds and a love seat to match. Why the hell does everything have to be colored schemed in black and red? And what's with the dumb clouds? I know Akatsuki means sunrise or something, but jeez.

Three people were spread out between the seats. One was definitely Uchiha Itachi, his blue skinned fishy partner Kisame shared the couch with him.

The last member was a man wearing a hideous swirly lollipop mask the color of a ripe pumpkin. He occupied the love seat and was wiggling in excitement, his one eye that showed staring directly at me. He must be new or something...

"Kakuzu?" I meowed sweetly in my nicest of tones as he approached the three freaks. "You aren't going to leave me with these strange people, right?" I'd rather deal with tentacles then with those three nincompoops staring at me in curiosity. The Uchiha was actually just kind of staring with no emotion on his face. It was awkward.

"Hello?" I meowed in annoyance when he ignored me and continued to get closer to them.

"Take care of her. Leader wants her for questioning later so don't kill her yet." Kakuzu said coming to an abrupt stop between the land fish and awkwardly emotionless Uchiha.

"This is not how you treat a demon such as myself you worthless humans!" I hissed angrily as I was tossed roughly onto the lap of the Uchiha who did absolutely nothing.

"I'll be in the safe counting our money." He mumbled before walking hurriedly out of the room and leaving me alone with the three weirdos. Great...

Wait just a damn minute. If I'm on his lap then I'm sitting right on his...?! With a startled mew I flew from the Uchiha's lap and onto the couch between him and fishy.

A small shudder went through me when I thought I might of actually touched a dirty vermin's junk... How unsanitary! Ick!

Who am I kidding, these guys are way to hot for my secretly perverted self. Damn annoyingly handsome vermin!

"Hi! My name is Tobi!" Screamed the walking lollipop as he jumped up and down right in front of the couch. "Tobi wants to pet you!"

Oh shit, if he puts one hand on me I'll cave to my pesky kitty desires. With that in mind I backed up as far as I could away from him.

"Please refrain from-" I was interrupted by a large hand stroking my soft fur. Unintentionally I began to purr loudly and sunk down into the couch. Damn it! This was my only weakness, excluding water of course.

"Tobi, you don't have to ask an animal if you can pet them." A masculine voice said confidently from my left. "You just do it, see?"

Glancing over I saw that it was Kisame, his hand scratching the space between my ears. If it didn't feel so good I'd scratch that smile right off of his face.

"Ok! I'll pet you to!" With that he reached out and swiftly went flying into a wall with a loud crash. Peering at him in annoyance I saw the silver haired cause of his short flight. Hidan.

Kisame paused his petting to laugh at the two morons as they tried to disentangle themselves from each other. Hidan cussing up a storm.

I took the oportunity the distraction provided to launch myself onto the Uchiha's lap again. Making sure I didn't touch his junk, I curled up into a ball. He didn't look like the sort to like petting soft little demons like me.

I was wrong...

Before I knew what was going on a gentle hand began to run across my back, smoothing out my white fur. Again, I began that wretched purring as my eyes grew heavy.

"Don't pet me..." I mumbled softly, my head resting gently on my side. It was getting hard to stay awake. What is with these criminals and petting me anyways? Aren't they supposed to be crazy murdering Neanderthals?

"Your soft, so I will." Itachi stated monotonously, still petting my fur gently. The nerve of some vermin!

"That's not fair Itachi." Kisame said laughing. "I wasn't done petting her yet."

"Hn." Was all he got as a response from the oh so talkative vermin. I couldn't help but feel completely confused as everyone sat down and turned their attention to the tv blaring in the corner.

Tobi and Hidan finally got themselves free awhile ago, but I didn't notice. Getting petted does that to a cat ya know.

Shouldn't I be questioned or imprisoned? I mean really? They just pet and cuddle me? What the hell is wrong with these people?! I'm a freaking bakeneko! Not some little pet!

Of course I didn't say anything out loud. How could I? My brain was shutting down and being taken over by my kitty instincts that screamed for me to just sleep and enjoy the attention.

Damn you kitty instincts! With that I fell asleep purring on an emotionless Uchiha's lap as everyone else watched tv. What weird criminals...


	3. Congrats, You've Joined the Darkside

Warning! There will be a great amount of Hidan language throughout this story. If you don't like it then you're obviously not an Akatsuki fan and therefore should leave quickly and quietly before we all murder you. :)

/

~Recap~ (I felt like making one, skip if you want...)

Once upon a time there was a princess locked away in a castle guarded by a great fire breathing dragon!

Actually, she was guarded by nine weird ass dragons. These dragons were S-class criminals that were all a part of a group called the Akatsuki. This group basically had plans to take over the world and bring on a time of twisted peace.

Did I mention that the princess was actually a rosy pink cat with two tails and enchanting eyes. If you asked her she'd say she was a bakeneko, that's a demon cat apparently. Don't ask me.

Anyways, she purposely got herself catnapped. Go on, ask me why? I know you want to.

Well, since you asked I could tell you. Wait! Did you say please?

Fine, I'll tell you, no need to yell or anything. She was just very curious as to what S-classed criminals do during their free time. That and she was bored.

Honestly, what do they all do together?

So far she has:

1\. Tried, and failed, to pull a prank.

2\. Been ditched by Leader and Kakuzu.

3\. Felt up Itachi.

4\. Been petted.

5\. Fallen asleep on Itachi's lap.

She hasn't found anything even remotely useful about the Akatsuki.

Do you want to just read the story? Yeah, well, I didn't want to talk to you anyways. This was just a recap by the way. You didn't have to read it, brat.

~Recap End~

Chapter 3: Congrats, You've Joined the Darkside.

I was lying on somebody's bed when I woke up from my little cat nap. Seeing no emanate danger I began stretching all of my cramped muscles. By the nice rain scent I was certain the room belonged to Hidan. Why he smelled like rain or why I was in his bed of all places was beyond me.

The last thing I remember was being petted until I fell asleep. Curse that damn Uchiha and his soft hands! You'd think they would be callused from fighting, but no, his hands were as soft as a babies bottom. Not that I go around touching babies, they were definitely vermin beneath my greatness.

I'll be ready next time. That damn vermin probably uses lotion or something. Freak.

The sheets and blanket were a boring gray and black theme that matched the stone walls. Though they were definitely soft enough to earn a rolling on. Which is exactly what I did while purring up a storm.

So comfy!

Getting that over with I was greatly pleased to see my white and pink fur scattered all over the dark sheets. Ha! Serves him right! Have fun cleaning that off loudmouth!

My ears perked up as I heard heavy footsteps out in the hall. The strangely nice smell of Hidan pervaded my cute little nose, stronger than the smell of the room. There was a fainter smell of something else in the room, but Hidan's scent was to distracting. Blasted vermin! Why does he smell so good?!

I rolled around in the sheets a few more times for good measure. Breathing in his scent like the closet pervert I am. With that taken care of I continued listening intently as Hidan came closer to his room.

Damn vermin was taking his sweet ass time.

Honestly, why in Kami's name did they have me in one of their rooms unsupervised and free to do as I please? How dare they underestimate me! Do they not understand that I am a powerful cat demon! Their idiocy continues to amaze me.

Finaly Hidan made it to the door. I was still fuming, ready to give him a verbal lashing, but he beat me to it. The second he opened the door and saw me his handsome face contorted into complete rage.

I took a moment to look him over. His cloak was open to reveal his shirtless chest and he wore a weird amulet attached to a chain around his neck. It was an upside-down triangle inside of a circle. How original... note the sarcasm.

"What the fuck did you do to my fucking bed!" He yelled as I quietly padded to the edge of the mattress and jumped off. "There is fucking pink and white fur fucking everywhere! You disgusting bitch!"

Unfortunately when I landed there was something slick and wet on the floor. Did he just call me a female dog?! My paws slipped out from under me and I went sliding across the ground until I smacked painfully into the stone wall.

"Ow!" I yowled in annoyance, looking down to find myself covered in a dark red substance. It covered my underbelly and legs, soaking into my nice white fur. This better not be what I think it is.

I jumped up quickly and tried to race to Hidan's sandal clad feet. Shivering slightly I used my claws as traction to get through the nasty puddle of crimson.

Random thought, why do ninja wear sandals? Strange indeed. I prefer paws.

Hidan paused his little rant to laugh his ass off the moment my ordeal began. And he was still laughing, an arm placed against the stone wall for support.

"Is this blood?!" I yelled in disbelief as the smell clung to my fur. How could I not have smelled the vile substance!? Dammit! I was to busy being a pervert! But he didn't know that, thank Kami. Or should I say thank Jashin while in his presence?

"Yeah," he bit out through his dying laughter. "What the fuck are you going to do about it you fluffy shit?"

I gave him the best unamused look I could muster. "If you absolutely must know you insignificant vermin." I paused for dramatic effect. "I'm going to bathe. Something I'm sure you've never heard of."

Smirking he ungraciously grabbed me from around the middle and brought me to his eye level. "Well aren't you just the cutest little shit."

His beautiful magenta eyes bored into my turquoise ones, almost like he was in a trance. He was completely oblivious about the blood now coating his large hands. They couldn't possibly know I can turn into a human soo...?

Then it hit me. Bestiality wasn't actually a thing, right? Right?!

I _am_ pretty cute though.

"You'll have to wait before you do anything." He spoke loudly, pulling me to his bare chest and cradling me in one arm. "Leader wants to speak to you, fluffy shit."

"That is preposterous!" I growled in annoyance, not quite paying attention as he exited the room and began his way down the hall. I was to busy enjoying the warmth seeping into my fur from his body heat, and the satisfaction that blood was getting all over his arm and cloak. "And for your information my name isn't fluffy or shit. It's Nadeshiko!"

"Ok fluffy shit." He laughed, passing a few rooms before climbing some stairs at the end of the long hallway. "Whatever you fucking say."

I could feel the vibrations of his voice as it rumbled through his chest. Well, this isn't awkward at all...

I have to say, I'm not usually a perv, but when it comes to shirtless men with drool worthy muscles...

Loudly clearing my throat I tried my best to ignore my female instincts. Instead, focusing on the looming door before us that somehow looked menacing, despite its ordinary wooden structure.

"You choking on a fucking fur-ball?" Hidan questioned, his lips drawn up in a never ending smirk. With his free hand he knocked on the door three times in quick succession. "Don't fucking get it on me if it is."

Instead of answering his impudent question I gave him my unamused look, ears laid back slightly.

Through his infuriating chuckle I heard a deep voice call out, "Enter."

Recognition hit me just as Hidan pulled the door open with a rough tug of his hand. He's all brawn and no brain. Stupid human.

"You've got to be kidding me." I said blankly, staring into the weird ripple like eyes of the man who smelled of metal. The one who so blatantly pawned me off on nincompoops with cute fluffy animal fetishes.

He can't possibly be the leader-

"Hey Leader!" Hidan piped up with haughtiness, cutting my thought in half. "Why the fuck do I have to watch over this little fluffy shit? "

Without blinking Leader switched his emotionless gaze onto the loudmouth. "You are the only one not on a mission or doing something productive. Therefore, you watch the cat."

He opened his mouth to argue, no doubt about to waste more of my valuable time with idle chit chat. I wasn't having it, this disgusting blood was going to leave my fur stained and itchy if I didn't get it off soon.

"Shut it!" I interrupted quickly, glaring at the handsome idiot. If I'm being honest most of the men here are handsome. "We are here on important business not pertaining to you, but to me."

That only caused him to rage about like a wild baboon, cussing up a storm. Tired of his shenanigans, Leader sent him to wait out in the hall like the child he was.

"Fine!" He growled, placing me onto the red wood desk in front of Leader before stomping towards the door. "Fuck you bitches!"

With the slamming of the door he was gone, his annoyingly nice sent lingering in the room. I sat on my haunches and stared into the unblinking eyes of the leader of one of the most notorious criminal groups in the world.

And yawned, dramatically.

"You are aware that I am a feline and therefore will never lose a stare off, right?" I stated calmly after a good five minutes of him doing nothing but staring. If it was to intimidate me it was failing miserably.

Just like his plans for peace.

"I am aware." He stated blankly, still staring. "Now tell me, how have you gained information on us?"

I snorted loudly, "do you vermin not know what classified means?" I couldn't help myself from pulling his chain.

In a flash I was somehow grabbed around the neck. Spluttering I hissed incredulously and quickly did the necessary paw signs, poofing out of his grip.

"That was not entertaining in the least." I coughed from my place near the door. "Impatient, little human?"

The narrowing of his eyes were the only hint that I was pissing him off. That and being choked.

"Answer the question or die." Well someone's playing a little to much into the whole "I-will-conquer-the-world-bow-before-my-godliness" thing.

"What great options." I said sarcastically, jumping back onto his desk and stretching. With a loud yawn I laid down, much to his hidden dismay. "I am a master at intel and assassination. There is no one place where I have gathered info on your group. I know many things."

Revealing this much was safe. It's not uncommon for shinobi to do such things and didn't say anything unbelievable. He couldn't possibly know that I worked for Konoha either, seeing as I wasn't wearing a headband and that only four people actually know of my existence.

"How." Was his bland response. It didn't even sound like a question. What is with everyone being so emotionless? It did not make you cool.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "To put it simply; I sneak around and listen to conversations, go incognito, and of course interrogate key players assigned to me." The fact that I had to explain it to him said a lot about his minuscule brain. It wasn't to hard to figure out.

"I see." He finally said after another round of awkward staring, the awkwardness being on his part. Not mine.

"Why is it that you are so important that you would be given these tasks. You are just a cat." Disdain laced his words, pissing me off in more ways than one. How dare this little freak question my usefulness and loyalty!

"First of all, _Leader._ " I snapped in anger, narrowing my eyes into deadly slits and bearing my sharp teeth. "I am a bakeneko! A spiritual creature created from the souls of the dead with inhuman powers. I've been alive long before you were a even a twinkle in your mother's god forsaken eye and I have way more experience than you!"

Now his eyes were narrowed. Good.

Before he could say anything I continued, my voice hard. "Just because I look cute does not mean I am incapable of destroying whatever I please. But, unlike certain creatures, I have enough sense not to fully involve myself in human affairs and go overboard."

With a sniff I plopped back down and took a deep breath to calm myself. That was a great act that hopefully passes as believable. The faster we are done here the better. Blood was really a pain to get out of one's fur.

"Interesting." There was a pause of silence as he continued to stare at me with his strange eyes. I'm sure I've heard of them somewhere before. "You will join the Akatsuki. I do not care where you came from. Your powers may prove useful."

"Really?" I said with the twitch of my eye. That's all he says after my giant revelation. No questions or concerns, no death threats, just "hey, congrats. You are eligible to join the Darkside."

Infiltrating their base can _not_ be this easy. I am greatly suspicious.

With a slight nod he motioned me closer, grabbing something from within a pouch hidden in his cloak. Opening his hand he revealed a ring with the Kanji 'gen' or in other words 'mysterious.'

Not suspicious in the least. Now where does he expect me to wear the damn thing? On one of my tails, maybe? Heck why not make it into a nose ring? I bet that's what he is planning!

Nope, not happening!

Instead of yelling that out I just looked at it skeptically and frowned. "From what I've heard there are only ten rings for each of the ten fingers in your group. What is this?"

Without answering he pushed it forward until it barely touched my front paws. Upon contact it instantly opened up and latched onto my right paw, drawing blood. No wait, that's just the nasty blood still clinging to my fur.

I jumped six feet in the air with a loud yowl of distress. Trying in vain to tear it off. The band was now glowing black and quickly making itself into a bracelet that clung to my fluffy wrist. The fur underneath it quickly fell out and burst into flames that left ash on his desk.

My fur!

Trembling a little from the shock of the blasted thing I glared up at the so called Leader. "What the fuck was that you insufferable human?!"

"It's a ring that bonds you to the Akatsuki." The tiniest bit of smug humor laced his words. "It was specially made for unwilling members. There is only one of its kind and may not be taken off unless the wearer is dead."

With that he flicked his wrist and I flew out of the room, the door somehow opening then slamming shut. Luckily Hidan was there to catch me before I hurled into the wall.

I blinked once, then twice as I was carried down the stairs back the way we came. Hidan mumbling about Jashin and baths.

Oh crab. What did I get myself into?!


	4. Bathing and Free-Ballin

Chapter Four: Bathing and Free-balling it.

"This is ridiculous!" I snarled to myself, glaring down at the ring turned bracelet latched onto my burned wrist. How dare he try and bend me to his will! Not happening! I'll destroy this ring soon.

"But first things first." I glanced down at the red liquid that didn't seem to want to dry.

I was currently sitting on the counter in Hidan's bathroom waiting for the water to heat up. To entertain myself I drew some nice little pictures on his mirror, using my claws and some of the blood clinging to my fur of course.

Soon it became warm and foggy, signalling it was time to finally get this damn blood off of my precious fur. Satisfied with my wonderful drawing of myself as queen of the world I stretched my cramped muscles. With a giant leap I soared over the toilet and into the streaming water of the shower, almost landing on an evil looking rubber duck.

After about ten minutes of me rolling, rubbing, and shaking, it became blatantly obvious that the blood was not coming out. I jumped onto the side of the tub and glared at the cascading water.

"Blasted!" I growled angrily, flicking water off of my ear and onto Hidan's floor.

Sighing loudly I began doing a series of intricate paw signs faster than the eye could see. If the blood wouldn't come out of fur maybe it would come off of skin. Hopefully, because this technique drained most of my catra, ahem. Chakra.

A flash of blinding light seared my eyes while my body grew into my human form. I blinked back tears and stood to look in the mirror, making sure I didn't have cat ears or something. Though I doubt I would, seeing as my techniques are always flawless.

Dusty pink hair fell to around my waist, dripping bloody water onto his floor. Serves him right! My eyes where the same as when I was in cat form, slitted pupils and everything. I twirled once, checking for anything out of the ordinary for a normal human girl. Good.

Overall I was as beautiful as a human as I was as anything else. All pale skin and nice curves. I grinned haughtily at my reflection, showing my sharp canines.

With everything in order I turned my attention back to cleaning the blood from my body. I shivered slightly without my fur and raced for the comfort of the heated shower.

The blood came off in a matter of seconds now that it had nothing to stain. Leaving the warmth of the bathroom was out of the question though so I found a way to entertain myself.

Soon I had Hidan's body soap, toothpaste, shampoo, and conditioner sprayed all over everything in the bathroom. I left a clear path for me when I left. Then I grabbed all of his toilet paper and played a game of catch with myself. When the water began to cool down I plugged the drain and left it running.

Laughing maniacally I walked into his bedroom, shutting the door to the bathroom with a loud slam. I looked around suspiciously for any signs of red on the polished stone floor. Satisfied that I wasn't going to have a repeat of earlier I sauntered over to his bed.

Goosebumps had appeared on my skin from the cold air and the fact that I was still soaking wet. So I did what anybody as awesome as me would do. I jumped into his now cleaned bed, dried myself using his sheets, threw those on his floor, and gathered his blanket to snuggle into. All the while breathing in his strangely pleasant scent.

"So warm and comfy." I sighed happily, listening for approaching footsteps. There were none. Burrowing deeper into the warmth I curled up into a ball and closed my eyes.

After a good thirty minutes of trying to take a cat nap I gave up and pushed the blanket onto the floor as well. I then proceeded to stretch extensively before taking a good look around.

Hidan's room really was super plain. His bed was king sized and placed in the middle of the room opposite of the main door. A bookshelf sat lonely in the far left corner and another door leading to the bathroom was to the right of the bed.

I grinned when I saw water leaking from the crack under the door. Soon it would reach everything in his room. Deciding I'd rather not get my feet wet again I jumped from the bed and made my way to the door leading into the hallway.

One test of the knob and I found it was locked. No matter. I phased through the door with no trouble at all and looked both ways down the hall. Shaking my head at how dumb they were for not even posting guards I began my search for the kitchen. I was quite ravenous.

The delightful scent of cooking meat caught my attention and I followed my nose to the source. It was still cold, the polished stone freezing my poor bare feet as I walked. Shivering slightly I was happy to find my destination after only a few turns.

It was placed very strangely. You literally walk down the hallway and bam, there's an open spot to your left where the wall disappears. The room was a giant rectangle, the kitchen placed in the back where I could see the walking lollipop cooking something. A huge table sat in the spot right before the open ended kitchen.

Almost drooling I silently skirted the table and came to stand right behind the strange humming vermin as he fried something. Whatever it was, he better have made me some.

"What are you making Lollipop?" I asked leaning over his shoulder and inhaling deeply. A bunch of ingredients sat off to the right side on the granite counter.

He whirled around in surprise, almost elbowing me right in the boob. The pan he was cooking with almost fell off of the stove and onto my foot. If it wasn't for his quick reflexes and my ability to leap a great distance we'd be eating fried big toe for dinner.

"Watch it you clumsy oaf!" I hissed from my crouched position on the table.

His one visible eye regarded me in suspicion before recognition hit him. "Fluffball?"

I gave him my best unimpressed look. "I was never informed that my name had changed." With a hop I landed silently on my feet and came to stand next to him once more. This time giving him a little distance in case he decided to drop the pan again.

With an excited squeal he tackled me in a hug, almost making me topple over. "Tobi is a good boy! Why are you human now?"

Pushing him away I proceeded to dust myself off. "Well, I had to take a shower and was in need of opposable thumbs. Therefore I was required to change into my human form. Now what are you cooking?"

"Dumpl-" He stopped mid sentence to look me up and down, his one eye widened and he turned quickly back to his concoction. Hmm, what a weird creature.

Rolling my eyes at his lack of an attention span I made myself comfortable on one of the ten wooden chairs surrounding the giant table. It was warmer in here, most likely because he was cooking. Still sleepy from earlier I placed my head on the cold wood of the table and began dozing off.

"Help me put everything away and I'll give you some of Sempai's portion." Lollipop called happily, jolting me from my nap.

I turned to see him cleaning up. With a giant yawn and an even bigger stretch I quickly set to work. In a matter of seconds we had everything organized and three plates of steaming food looking absolutely delicious sitting on the table.

"Who's this Sempai of yours?" I asked out of curiosity before taking a dainty bite and almost dying from taste overload. Damn vermin knew how to cook!

Lollipop sat fidgeting in his seat, his beautiful creation untouched. When I asked my question he somehow gave me a surprised look through his mask. It was unnerving. "You don't know?"

If I wasn't so busy stuffing my face he'd learn the true meaning of sarcasm. Instead I gave a small nod, my mouth to full to talk, and carried my plate to the sink and began washing it. Next came the dishes he used to cook with.

He better appreciate this because it'll never happen again. Demons such as myself do _not_ do dishes. Ever.

He blinked a few times and laughed. "It's Deidara Sempai of course!" His laugh was kind of cute. As in baby animal cute.

"What about me, un?" Came a very sexy voice that made me blink. Damn these random hot guys! It's like a reverse harem in this place!

I turned from cleaning and zeroed in on his face. Crystal blue eyes and golden blonde hair. The crazy bomb guy that had mouths on his hands. He kind of looked like a girl, but only slightly. Hmm weird.

He was wearing the same cloak everyone else wore. If I wasn't mistaken his partner had been the puppet master Sasori. So why was Tobi calling him Sempai? My eyes widened in shock. Could they be partners, as in romantic partners? Made sense.

Lollipop jumped from his seat and raced towards the poor guy. A loud thud echoed throughout the room and hall as Deidara sidestepped, making Lollipop run face first into the wall of the hallway.

"Tobi!" He growled, his back towards me. "What have I told you about doing that!"

I snorted in amusement and sat at the table, leaning back in the chair and putting my feet up. Blondie still hadn't noticed me yet. Some S-class criminal he is.

"Tobi is sorry!" Came the muffled reply. Why he still had his face smashed against the wall was beyond me.

Deidara sighed loudly. "Quit making out with the wall already. I'm hungry." To prove that statement his stomach growled.

Almost immediately Tobi was up and racing towards me. "Tobi wanted to introduce you to Fluffb-"

"Nadeshiko." I inturrpted.

He didn't miss a beat and was soon standing over me hopping from foot to foot. "Shiko-chan! She's our new member! But she's actually a ca-"

"Quit babbling." I ground out and covered my ears against his vocal onslaught. Even in human form my hearing was as sharp as ever.

"Who-" Deidara began before he caught sight of me and his eyes bugged out. Blood exploded from his nose and he fell on his back. Then he was back on his feet facing away from me again.

A raised a brow and looked at Lollipop questioningly. "What's his problem?"

He shook his head and shrugged. "Sempai, your food is going to freeze if you don't eat it soon."

"I can't." Blondie said tensely, refusing to turn around.

"Why?" He sounded almost hurt. The poor little creature. I snatched a dumpling from one of there untouched plates and popped it in my mouth. I'll eat them if they won't.

All of a sudden Deidara turned around and glared at him, pointing a finger directly at me. His face was beat red and he had tissues in his nose. When did he put those there? "Maybe because there is a nude woman sitting at the table!"

I looked down at my human body lacking clothing then back at Blondie and shrugged. "So?"


	5. Puppet Boy is Alive!

Chapter 5: Puppet Boy is Alive?!

I laughed breathlessly from within the room I was in, searching for a hiding place. Who's room it was? I had no idea and I didn't care.

Right now I was having the time of my life keeping out of Hidan's way as he searched for me and failed. Miserably. No pesky vermin could possibly find someone such as myself when I didn't want to be found.

Deidara had been freaking out and yelling about my nudity while the lollipop and I ate at the table. Then all of a sudden it felt like an earthquake hit. Accompanied by one really loud, obnoxious, angry voice screaming out one name in particular.

My name.

Guessing Hidan had finally checked out his room I hightailed it and phased straight through the kitchen wall. I found myself in a room just as simple as Hidan's, the only difference being bits and pieces of wood scattered on every surface of furniture. Including the king sized bed.

Seeing an almost finished puppet laying across a workbench I did a few paw... er... hand signs and possessed it. Then I sat up, creaking ominously, so that I had a great view of the room and, more importantly, the door that led into the hallway.

And that's how I found myself staring unblinkingly at Sasori as he sauntered into the room, red hair framing his attractive face. The guy who had supposedly been killed by that annoying little vermin, Sakura.

The one now glaring mere inches from my face. Or the puppet's face, seeing as he couldn't possibly know I had possessed his strange creation. With an annoyed huff he shook his head and smoothly laid me back down on the workbench.

Nodding once in satisfaction he walked off silently, the click of a door signaling his departure. Once he was gone I immediately sat back up and began listening intently for any signs of Hidan. Trying my best to block out the sound of running water coming from the room Sasori went into.

The cussing had ceased completely and I couldn't smell his weirdly attractive scent. So the idiot wasn't even close to finding me.

Stupid vermin.

After about fifteen minutes of waiting I was struggling against the clutches of sleep. Thirty minutes later I was completely passed out, therefore missing the entrance of Hidan.

"Sasori!"

His yell made me jump wide awake before I caught myself and remained completely still. Puppet eyes staring directly ahead of me as Hidan glared at me suspiciously before shrugging.

The door leading to the bathroom opened and out came Sasori. Clad only in a red towel might I add. His usual emotionless face glared daggers at Hidan.

"What are you doing in my room." He said in a monotone voice, yet you could tell he was pissed off.

Something seemed... off about him. It was then that I got over his attractive body and noticed that he actually had a body. A normal body. No built in compartments, no seams or grooves, just regular flesh and muscles. He was completely human, through and through.

If I wasn't currently having so much fun pranking Sasori and hiding from Hidan my eye would be twitching up a storm. Not only did I not know who the leader of the Akatsuki was, I also didn't realize Sasori was very much alive! And a disgusting human at that!

My intel gathering skills were being sorely outmatched when it came to this particular evil, let's conquer the world, group.

"I'm looking for a small pink and white cat with two fucking tails." Hidan smiled evilly, looking down at the much shorter male. "Do you fucking want a new puppet?"

Sasori didn't answer his question and instead casually pushed passed him to stand directly in front of me, his eyes narrowed. Then he turned around and with one hand, the other was holding his towel around his waist, stabbed Hidan in the chest with a senbon.

Hidan grunted, but other than that he wasn't fazed. It almost looked like he had enjoyed it actually. Nasty vermin.

"What did I tell you about touching my art, Hidan?" Sasori snapped quietly, no doubt blaming Hidan for his puppet sitting up again.

Haha, he'd never guess it was me!

"What the fuck are you talking about you short little bastard?" He frowned and roughly pulled the weapon from his chest, tossing it to the floor.

Sasori pointed at me and Hidan blinked.

"I didn't touch that fucking creepy ass thing." His face contorted in disgust. "Jashin wouldn't even touch that." He muttered as Sasori turned back to me and began prodding my puppet self.

I held in my giggles as his face scrunched up in concentration. Then I burst out laughing when his hand went into the compartment in my stomach, tickling the hell out of me.

Sasori and Hidan jumped back in shock as I sucked in lung fulls of air, slamming the compartment shut with a loud bang. All the while cursing my ticklish human body in my head. If I had possessed the stupid puppet in my normal cat form I would have been fine.

When I had finally regained my composer both of the idiots were just staring at me, mouths hanging open. I was almost certain a fly flew into Hidan's mouth and back out again.

"What?" I huffed finally. "Cat got your impudent tongues?"

"Nadeshiko!" Hidan's face broke into a harsh glare and spittle flew through the air as he yelled. "You disgusting little bitch! What the fuck did you do to my room!"

Sasori glared at Hidan and rubbed his ears in annoyance.

"I have no idea what your talking about pathetic human." I studied the puppet's nails and sniffed. "Demons such as myself do not flood people's rooms."

"Oh, is that fucking so?" He ground out between clenched teeth, taking a threatening step forward. "Then how the fuck did you know it was fucking flooded?"

"I'm a bakeneko." I replied simply, doing a few hand signs. Puppets made my butt look big. Not that I don't look sexy in whatever I possess.

Seeing my hands signs Hidan and Sasori jumped into defensive stances. Did I mention Sasori was still in a towel?

With a poof I stood in my human form, the puppet laying untouched on the workbench. Placing my hands on my hips I glared at Hidan in annoyance, only to see his head turned away from me.

"Why the fuck are you a naked fucking human!" He practically screamed, his face so red a crab would be jealous.

Sasori, on the other hand, decided he had had enough of our antics and attached chakra strings to us and marched our butts out of his room. Slamming the door shut with an annoyed, "Stay out."

We both looked at each other, blinking. Then we both burst out laughing, tears streaming down our faces.

"Come on fluffy shit." Wiping tears from his face Hidan took off his cloak and dumped it onto my head with a grumble.

"Fine." I made a face at him, secretly happy as I shrugged on the huge thing. It was warm and smelled just like him. "Loud mouth."

He rolled his eyes and opened the door to his room, which was somehow spotless. "I can't believe you were running around nude!" His face was a suspicious pink.

I shook my head, humans.

With that I ran and jumped onto his clean bed, curling up in his blankets. How he managed to tidy up his room so fast, I didn't know.. My turquoise eyes gleamed from under the covers as I glared at him.

"If you wished for me to be clothed you should have given me some." I stated matter of factually, ignoring his protests as I closed my eyes.

"Stupid furball." Was the last thing I heard before sleep claimed me.


	6. Perks of Being Awesome

My mind wandered as I laid curled up on the sofa in what Hidan had dubbed the "dying room". It was the same place I had met Kisame and that vile Uchiha who wouldn't stop petting me about a week ago.

"Damn cretin." I grumbled with a hiss.

I was back in my cat form, I would say original form, but that'd be a lie. Nobody lived after they saw my original form...

I giggled evilly.

"Will you quit being a little creep?" Kisame asked with a raised brow. He sat a few inches away from me. "You're scaring Lil Bit."

I looked at him in confusion before he pointed at a small glass bowl sitting in his lap. Small blue pebbles sat at the bottom, a skull nestled right on top. A tiny yellow fish stared at me with giant unblinking eyes from behind it.

"You've had a pet fish? Since when?" My eyes stayed locked on the small thing as it swam a little closer, gaining some courage. "How... Interesting..."

He glared at me for a second. "Yes and since last week, problem with that Kit-Kat?" His eyes turned loving as he gazed down at the fish. "Lil Bit, say hi to Hidan's kitty!"

I was interrupted from yelling at the insolent fool for calling me someone's pet when the fish smiled, showing a mouth full of razor sharp teeth. It almost looked like it was drooling for a second. Did the tiny creature think it could eat me or something?

I cringed and jumped from the couch, padding out into the hallway and away from damn shark boy and his "cute" little snack. As much as I loved fish, that one looked below my standards. _Way_ below my standards.

I was lost in the memories of when I actually was a pet, just an ordinary house cat. It seemed like just yesterday and yet so very long ago. Way before this generation or even the one before that. Long before the ten tailed beast, when yokai still roamed the land.

"Where are you going?" He yelled after me, knocking my memories from my mind.

I didn't grace him with my voice.

"Cat thinks she's so high and mighty." He rolled his eyes before gushing at his pet. "You're way more adorable Lil Bit!"

It blew bubble hearts in response.

/

I needed to get outside now, or I was going to claw someone's face off to sharpen my claws. As funny as that would be the thought of dirtying my beautiful paws had me running from temptation.

So with that in mind I trudged my way towards the nearest exit, having mapped out the lair a few days ago. They still underestimated me and didn't think an itty bitty kitty could possible get up to no good.

It was really my life's goal to prove vermin wrong and ruin their pathetic lives. Then again just getting the chance to glimpse me in one's life was something that did the opposite. Hmm.. I should stop gracing people with my presence.

Up the stairs and to the left of the leader's office I sat staring at a stone wall. Now to open it or to phase through it was the question.

I hummed in thought, scrunching up my pink nose. "Phase it is."

And that's how I found myself on the outskirts of the horrible country of wind, grumpily making my way towards Suna. My paws sank into the hot sand with every step as wind whipped some towards my face. The ring turned bracelet kept getting sand underneath it and rubbing my wrist raw. Stupid leader and his insufferable jewelry! It even changes shape and dynamics to fit onto my finger when i switched forms. The damn thing was seriously well thought out.

"I really do hate sand." I mumbled as some tickled my ears. The walls of Suna loomed tall above me and I had to squint against the sun to see the top. "And vermin." I added when the gate keepers noticed me and quickly got into defensive stances.

Little boys barely worth a glance. This is who guarded the entrance to their village? I couldn't help but sigh. They reminded me of Konoha and the two fools that guarded that gate. Lovable idiots haha.

"What is that?" One of the two asked, his brown eyes trained on my every move as I made my way slowly over to them.

"A dragon obviously." I mumbled smartly.

"Cat." The other responded, his yellow eyes searching the landscape for anything else out of the ordinary.

It was quite ridiculous how I kept sinking into the sand so much that only my face, back, and tails peeked over the top. A few feet away from them and even my head went under the invading sand! Surprised I frantically started flailing about in hopes that I'd find the surface. I didn't think swimming was required in the damn desert! A minute later I was spluttering and being coddled by the two grown men.

"Aww it's okay little kitty!" The brown eyed one cooed as he dusted me off. "That nasty sand won't get you today, don't worry!"

I scoffed and then began coughing hoarsely, right into the yellow eyed guy's face. He was the lucky one getting the pleasure of holding my wonderful self. He did not look amused.

Coughing fit over with I began shaking out my fur, which now looked brownish with sand. Puffs of it floated into the air before settling onto the two ninja who in turn began sneezing.

"Ahem." I cleared my throat loudly. "Now that this little fiasco is over with would you two vile creatures escort me to Lord Gaara."

"Um." The guy not holding me began, "No offense, but you need papers to get in and well... You don't have any so..."

I wiggled out of the other ninja's hands, smacking my tails in his face as I went, and hopped onto the sand once more. "Yeah yeah, here." With a poof papers fell on the brown eyed guys head. "Now let me in you stupid miscreants! I'm getting hot and I will not start panting like dog!"

He took his sweet time looking at the papers before giving in and letting the yellow eyed guy take me through the village and to Gaara's office. Who, by the way, had no idea who I was. I wonder if I'll get him to show some emotion.

The guard knocked on his door and a quiet _come_ _in_ was all I heard before the guard opened the door and used his foot to push me through. The nerve!

"Hey! Don't you dare do that again vermin!" I growled over my shoulder as I padded towards the desk in the back of the room. "I will skin you and feed you to someone's stupid fish if I have to!"

He looked like he didn't believe be and shut the door quickly. Grr...

"May I help you?" Came Gaara's voice and I looked up only to see his emotionless face staring at me.

Well so much for getting some emotion. You'd think seeing a talking cat with two tails would make people do a double take or maybe lift an eyebrow.. Wait, he didn't have any eyebrows. Haha loser.

"I'm Nadeshiko." I jumped onto his desk and sat down. "Wanna know some secrets? They'll knock your socks off!"

He looked at me for a second and then blinked. "I'm not wearing any socks. I'm using bandages for my feet."

Wow, way to miss the point there. Okay, maybe he was just trying to be funny. Sounded like something he'd do. "Um, okay then. You want secrets or not?"

He nodded and I grinned devilishly before coming closer and whispering into his ear. "I'm part of the Akatsuki."

His body jerked back so fast I thought he was going to break his spine. Immediately sand started circling me from his gourd. He was to slow for me though and I dodged out of the way, leaving a small note on top of his desk.

"Read that buttercup!" With that I phased through the floor and high tailed it out of there laughing my butt off. The village was on high alert after a few seconds, but I just transformed into an orange kitty and left right through the gates. Time to get back to base and set my plan into motion.

Mwuhahahaha!

/

A/N: Sorry for the late chapter guys! This one is more of a filler and set up for the next few chapters! Hope you got some laughs anyways! :)


	7. You've Been Pranked

Gaara looked at the strange note in front of him as if it was going to explode or something. That strange cat couldn't actually be in the Akatsuki, could she? Not likely, seeing as she told him like it wasn't a big deal. Still, he wondered why she would go through all that trouble just to prank him.

It was all very frustrating. With an inaudible sigh he closed his eyes before opening them and deciding to go ahead and read the letter. Hopefully it would answer some questions for him.

His hand tore of the top and immediately an explosion of pink and silver glitter covered him and the entire room. Sighing loudly this time he proceeded to pull the paper out, having to rub glitter out of his eyes first.

 _ **To**_ _ **whatever cretin**_ _ **or**_ _ **vermin**_ _ **it**_ _ **may**_ _ **concern,**_

 _ **This**_ _ **is**_ _ **Nadeshiko**_ _ **of**_ _ **Konoha. If you are reading this it means my amazing self has payed you a visit. Lucky you!**_

 _ **You've**_ _ **been thinking**_ _ **of**_ _ **my purrfect**_ _ **fur**_ _ **and**_ _ **eyes, haven't**_ _ **you. That wasn't a question, I**_ _ **know it's true. Everyone**_ _ **does, don't**_ _ **feel**_ _ **to**_ _ **embarrassed**_ _ **about**_ _ **it**_ _ **little**_ _ **vermin.**_

 _ **Having**_ _ **no**_ _ **eyebrows**_ _ **has**_ _ **to**_ _ **be t**_ _ **errible. Been fur, done that. I have**_ _ **so**_ _ **much**_ _ **hair now**_ _ **it's**_ _ **like**_ _ **I**_ _ **have**_ _ **eyebrows**_ _ **all**_ _ **over**_ _ **my**_ _ **body**_ _ **though. So**_ _ **I**_ _ **guess**_ _ **you're**_ _ **jealous, huh?**_

 _ **Wait! Did you get my autograph? Don't worry**_ _ **if**_ _ **you**_ _ **didn't. I**_ _ **always**_ _ **sign**_ _ **my**_ _ **letters**_ _ **so**_ _ **don't**_ _ **cry. It's**_ _ **really**_ _ **unbecoming**_ _ **of**_ _ **you**_ _ **humans. Talk**_ _ **about**_ _ **nasty**_ _ **and**_ _ **filthy.**_

 _ **How**_ _ **am**_ _ **I**_ _ **writing**_ _ **this**_ _ **without**_ _ **hands**_ _ **you**_ _ **ask? Use**_ _ **your**_ _ **damn**_ _ **imagination. I'm**_ _ **not**_ _ **here**_ _ **to**_ _ **do**_ _ **everything**_ _ **for**_ _ **you. Or**_ _ **anything**_ _ **actually.**_

 _ **Anyways, this**_ _ **letter**_ _ **is**_ _ **literally**_ _ **about**_ _ **nothing. Pranked**_ _ **by**_ _ **a**_ _ **pink**_ _ **cat, but**_ _ **lived**_ _ **to**_ _ **tail**_ _ **the**_ _ **tale. Aren't**_ _ **you**_ _ **just**_ _ **a**_ _ **lucky**_ _ **little**_ _ **human?**_

 _ **The**_ _ **pleasure**_ _ **is**_ _ **all**_ _ **yours,**_

 _ **Nadeshiko**_

 _ **P.S. Send this catnip to Konoha or face the consequences. Don't even think about smoking it.**_

 _ **P.S. 2.0: I don't**_ _ **have**_ _ **a**_ _ **last**_ _ **name. Get**_ _ **the**_ _ **hell**_ _ **over**_ _ **it. Oh**_ _ **and**_ _ **the**_ _ **answer**_ _ **is**_ _ **hidden**_ _ **at the**_ _ **start**_ _ **of**_ _ **each**_ _ **skelepun, courtesy**_ _ **of**_ _ **Sans.**_

"..." Garra had no idea how to even comprehend what he just read. His eyes landed on the little bag of catnip. A pink pawprint was on the white packaging and he honestly couldn't remember seeing it there before he started reading.

Nonetheless, Konoha had some serious answering to do.

/

"Hey." I growled lazily, both tails curled around my body. "How much longer do I have to do this, puppet boy?"

A glare contorted his handsome face, but he continued to stroke the brush against his creation. His face relaxed into one of serenity after a few seconds. It seemed he wasn't going to answer questions anytime soon.

"Shut up fluffy shit." Hidan's usually loud voice was quite as he lay against the trunk of a tree. His eyes were closed and he looked as if he'd doze off any second now.

"My name is Nadeshiko." My ear twitched in annoyance, but I really couldn't complain to much.

A small pond was behind me, surrounded by green grass and a ton of flowers. Little waterfalls fed into the spring and caused a calming tone to carry to our ears. I was curled up in a ball laying atop a particularly sun warmed rock amdist the flowers. It made me feel like I was being hugged by my human and I basically melted into a puddle when I first laid down.

I missed my human...

She was a cute one, that twerp. A tiny bottle of energy that romped around the house like she was a grand adventurer out to conquer the world. Her light brown curls bobbed as she walked and I remember trying to catch one with my claws when I first opened my eyes.

The first memory I have is of soft fur and the smell of warm milk. The bodies of my brothers and sisters all wiggling with mine and the rough licks on my head.

The next memory was of the freezing cold and the feeling of starving to death. I hadn't even opened my eyes yet and I was going to die. Of course I didn't realize that back then. I was just a runt of a kitten, left behind because I was to weak.

My cries and mews for my mother went unnoticed for hours until I couldn't call out any longer. I was so confused back then. I didn't know anything. Finally the cold caught up with me and I stopped wigging and trying to crawl. I just laid there unmoving, my life slipping away with the last of my body heat.

Then I remember gentle hands and the warmest thing I ever felt. The smell was not of my mother's, but I snuggled into the warmth with all of my might. A strong thumbing sound filled my ears and somehow I knew I was safe.

"Anybody in that fucking head of yours?" Hidan's voice snapped me back to the present and I blinked up at him. "You were zoning out big fucking time. Sasori already finished his dumbass painting and left. He said to go see him later."

"Oh." Was all I said. Memories of my human still right at the edges of my thoughts. My ears drooped down and my tails hung loosely behind me.

Hidan's smug face flattered as he studied me. I hardly noticed though and started making my way back to the base. A nap would be good I guess.

Gentle hands lifted me up until I was staring directly into Hidan's face. I couldn't help the puffing of my fur as I became embarrassed at the close proximity. Why was I embarrassed?!

"What's up with you?" He asked seriously, his eyes boring into mine. "You're usually more..." It looked like he was trying to come up with the right word.

I helped him out. "Uppity? Snappish?" Well those hardly described my awesome self!

"I was going to say outspoken and funny as fuck." He laughed, his arms now cradling me like I was a baby. "Now what's eating you?"

I wrinkled my nose at him and huffed, crossing my paws over my furry chest. Stupid Hidan. "Like I'd tell someone as insufferable as you."

He just laughed and stared down at me with a raised brow. Smirk fully into play now. "Tell me."

"No." Gumpy cat face activated.

"Just do it."

"No!"

"Yes."

"I said no you damn neanderthal!"

"And I said fucking tell me you fluffy shit!"

We then proceeded to have a staring contest. I was obviously going to win until he stared wiggling his eye brows suggestively and I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Stopping short when I saw his serious face again.

"Now fucking tell me why you were acting so fucking sad Nadeshiko."

"Fine." Knowing he wasn't going to drop I growled and rolled my eyes. "I was just thinking about my human. That's it. Now can you hurry up and take me inside so we aren't standing here all day. I have a nap to catch."

"You're human?" His eyes were now narrowed dangerously. "Who are they?"

"This is not taking me inside." I hissed and started struggling to get out of his hold, which had lost it's gentleness. I sorta didn't want to be put down before he got all grumpy looking.

His grip was nearly impossible to get out of so I sighed and relaxed again. To much effort for someone like me! "Why do you want to know anyway?"

"Because I fucking want to!" He fumed and held me about an inch from his face. "Tell. Me."

With proofed up fur again I bared my teeth at him and hissed loudly. Why the hell is he being so annoying? Oh wait, he is always annoying.

"At least fucking tell me what they are like then." He grumbled when his threatening face didn't work.

In exasperation I floppd back comfortably in his stupid strong arms. "I'll tell you, but then you better drop it!"

He immediately perked up and grinned like he had won something. I'm going to so prank the shit out of him later the turd.

"So you wanted to know where my human is, huh?" I questioned slowly, like Hidan was a huge idiot. Which he was.

He nodded his head once and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, now hurry the fuck up already!"

"She's right here." I used a claw to point at my fuzzy chest. My ears were laid back against my head again and I stared of into space.

"What?!" His voice was all sorts of confused. "That doesn't make any fucking sense! Wait. You're saying that you're your human. Very fucking funny."

"No." I said simply, completely ignoring his hot laugh. "I ate her soul."

He choked and started coughing, dropping me in the process. "Say what?!"

But I was already gone.

/

A/N: I'm so sorry for the late chapter! I had a super busy weekend! I hope you guys enjoyed it!

Also, did any of you get the secret message written in the letter?


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